christopher

in this building we play home
in this bathroom, chistopher cuts off my hair
it took a long time for me to realize
that we were just unprepared
we were younger and we were happier

we've been younger and we've been happier

my head puts things in front of me
that could never ever be there
my eyes go glazed, i'm dumb and amazed
christopher cuts these things from before me

knocks them right out of the air

***

'this is our field'

we'll meet here, in this field
if you come here you will find me
i'll be waiting for you
don't ask me why

well i can spot your black hair from across the square
so stand still, don't move, i'll come and find you there
and you can save your smiles in our black cloth bags
we'll find old shirts and rip out all of the tags
it's cold when i move but i can't stand still
i think i left my courage at the crest of this hill
so come climb it with me and tell the birds to follow
because without you by my side for this my body just feels hollow

this will be our field, and these will be our flowers
i'll be waiting here for you
if you can find this spot, then you'll find me here
when everything turns dark


----------------------------------------------------

'cold'

i'm through my door, and the sun's just up
i left my warmth in a plastic cup
when i was six and now i feel old
i wait for the light to come between the trees
because my body is cold
but that won't change, i'll feel cold all day

if we spoke now, i would say be patient
but talking now doesn't make any sense
when i was twelve i had a crush on a girl
i didn't know that if she meant the world to me
then she could take the whole world
and she took the whole world
and i will never feel the same again

they walk a little bit ahead of me
on this hill, the cutest pair i've ever seen
but they're in my head because my eyes are closed
it's so early in the morning i think my mind just froze
for a moment, but i'll wake and get through this day
just like the one before it
it's so damn cold
and i won't ever be the same again

moving slowly

i move slow, because i don't know if i want to get where i'm going.
my body's overflowing with this bad feeling.

maps are overrated.
i've never navigated all too well. i'm not going to start now.

and if this ship is going down, i'm standing at the front staring out.

i walk slow these days,
i'm moving really slow these days.

a response to a facebook message.

you are not what you pretend.

you're more than blue
& salty
ocean eyes

I hope you know that

inside
you're drowning
a massive yellow sunflower.

-julz

-

gotta speak right now- gotta throw some rhymes cos' breathing can be tough sometimes- and this place can make a soldier go blind- trying all the time to reclaim what's mine- stuck here for good- always act like i should- won't catch me rolling through the hood- i'd rather go by foot- and i got alot of friends but i'm tied up with shame because my oldest friends don't remember my name- and i've lost alot of small games- need peace like doves- who said it was a bad thing to be weak for love? things are looking rough- i'm a grain of sand- i think i need kanye to rap again- never mind the soft stuff- bring back the words- these days my wings are broken like a bird's and it's cold- i need a scarf and mitts- perhaps a new pair of kicks before i get snowed in- and start the hibernation- surf the radio stations trying to find a little good news from my nation- but there's none- and since the guns have come then we're past the fun and you know you better run- hear these songs- check the chimes- yeah i know that breathing can be difficult sometimes.

a facebook message

tonight is thick with the things i once owned
but i fall out of love with myself
and i stand up alone
keep the part of me that i gave you
it's a gift for you to keep
and i've promised you the colour blue
but the price looks a little steep, tonight
this song only exists in email form
and somehow that feels right
this depression works from the inside out
until it bursts from my eyes in full flight
and then everything tastes salty

...

all my friends are gonna go deaf
by the time they reach the age of thirty-five.
but if i had a choice, and i know i don't have a choice,
but if i had a choice,
i would rather go blind.

all my friends move away.
and i'm no good at goodbyes. i never know what to say.
so, goodbye.
but if i had a choice, and i know i don't have a choice,
but if i had a choice,
everyone would stay right here.

wetness

it's real cuz it feels like rain
bring the sounds all round me, bring the pain

stay young forever

when you find a happy note
keep it safe inside your coat
don't ever let it go, it will disappear
stay young forever

no matter where you end up
keep your head up, and raise your arms up
in the street when you hear our song
stay young forever

you can have every part of me
i'll give you any part of me
just go walking out to the sea
and stay young forever with me

i hide

whispers beyond this pillar
before me
voices that feel just like i feel
they question, they laugh
i question
i laugh
i poke my head around the obstacle
i do not know them, these whispering voices
i will not know them
i hide again

sonia+tor

well i always say that everything will be okay.
you shouldn't be down,
let me handle that frown, my darling.

just come out with me now, there's love all around.
i promise.
i'll find love in this town.

oh i know it was awhile ago,
but it's just beneath the snow.
i can find it and i'll make you laugh.
i will find it and i'll make you laugh again.

tommy looks to the future

my rhymes are few but they're all i can do these days
find these shadows homes, find new ways out of this maze

i am for you and all you will do
with or without me
i am for sunshine, i am for rain
i am for those who have gone, and those who have come in their stead
i am for the lonely, and for the ones in love

forgive me if i'm out of touch
i've battled my heart for 56 rounds and i can no longer hear a sound
except for the beating
my body's retreating
from these fleeting thoughts
of the peaceful future
of quiet docks

perhaps this is love with you
perhaps this is just a sneak preview
you want songs, well i'll give them to you
you want smiles, i've got a few left in me

a break from the everyday, a couple things i gotta say
i dropped a needle in the hay, and found it on the next day
i'd like to tell you i'm all better
but i can't say that right now
i'd like to fly off like a feather
but i can't do that just now
but i promise you that i'm the boy you knew
just growing up somehow
i promise you i'm the boy you knew
and i'll prove it to you somehow

i want to one day deserve you again
like a paper deserves a good pen
i hope someday i deserve you again
so i can make now more like then

stack your love like kindling to dry
and place it on my dying flame
we'll burn forever

gather your stones to skip in to the sea
and lay them on my beach
we'll toss them together

let's make up forever

for not going anywhere

there's a road inside my head that doesn't lead anywhere.
there used to be something at the end, but it's disappeared.
if this is real life, i should go back to bed,
where i can't hurt myself, and i won't feel regret
for not going anywhere.

i'm in love with a dancer, and it eats at me like a cancer,
that i can't get a straight answer out of my own head.
there's lots of good inside of me, with no means for release,
and i think i've lost the keys to my own heart.

today i should have stayed in bed,
because being out here hurts my head,
and when i feel i'm moving somewhere
i get shoved back to the start.

there's a love inside my head that doesn't know any bounds.
and a gun for motivation, for which i'm all out of rounds.
if this is real life, i should lay back down.
where i can dream of a smile.
i push myself around but don't go anywhere.

in the interest of poetry

we were never meant for this
things go wrong that cannot be fixed
and if i concentrate it may all go away
but i'm way out in space
i'm a daydreamer

you want to make me ok again
well i'm just fine
i'll even let you hold my hand
because i'm that kind of guy
but this sensitive side is not a hobbie
it's not planned
i breathe in the interest of poetry
it's just who i am
i'm a daydreamer

a tree

granda and me