slain.

old marches have come and gone,
new ones we bleed along with.
new thoughts in these twisted fields,
our aching chests and shields.

the earth comes in quakes,
some depths that i don't know,
i don't miss them, i don't miss them.
i've never seen them.

i remember something along these lines,
walked a girl home in the fall.
unrequited love in all of my seasons,
and still i search for meaningless reasons.

come flowers, come rain.
i can come back again.
come meet me as i am,
the old thomas is slain.

futurenostalgia.

at home in toronto. my brother's birthday. ages are becoming bigger numbers.

nice celebrations. i like movies involving weddings. i like weddings. hopefully i get to go to some fabulous ones at some point in my life. people are starting to get married around me. i guess it's about that time.

i have things to write about, but nothing real. only images and plots that have unfolded in dreams or when i've been close to sleeping. almost awake. i need some discipline.

days are just going by. trying to take it easy... running again, though. i've got some harsh physical labour on the horizon. it feels good knowing that. maybe i need something to kick the shit out of me physically, instead of mentally... my emotions eat themselves.

my hair is getting long. it's different. i feel different when i come home. but i'm not different. i'm the same. i hope i'm the same. reading a novel that centers around all different forms of love... may have been a poor choice.

walked by my high school today. remembered certain feelings. thought of certain people... not ones i would have expected myself to think about. old things are nice, but sometimes sad. nostalgia can be both pleasant and painful. all of a sudden i miss everyone.

lostandgettingmorelost.

lost, lost, lost, lost, never going to be found.
dying since the day i was born, wasting away slow.
towards a day when i can't hear a sound.
sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh, no more goodbyes.
to get back is impossible, this come-back is impossible.
no light in this cave, no will making me brave.
it's time to fight back. i am my own slave.
fight, fight, fight, fight.

fghtthewrld.

i see now that this is how we're going to fight the world
as little boys and little girls
my baby blond hair and you with your curls
i've got sticks that can be swords,
or guns if things get worse

we'll stand on every rooftop
we're going to take over the world

now everywhere i look i see enemies
coming to take a shot at you and me
if you stand right behind me,
i will do my best

i make you proud, just like you make me proud
i make you happy, just like you make me happy

i am me and you are you
and the skies are blue
i've got nothing to say except "i love you"

the echo.

when the way's not an easy way,
i will walk you there, my friend
when you least expect it, i will show up
at your door with all my love intact.
but your rose is not the light of my life.
don't even say you tried,
i've gone away from that.
and your face sits in all the clouds in the sky.
don't even say that you're tired,
i know all about that.

blossom.

is spring waiting for me to give something away?
shall i ruin the ending?
...because i didn't really understand.

repeat, rinse, and repeat, i fall from atop my feet.
into water, how that puddle was deep.
i stood in it up to my knees...

waving to a bus load of children smiling back at me.

is march waiting for me to lead the way?
shall i teach the trees to blossom?
...because i've always failed at that.

the march.

spring breaks in cold rain.
if love was mine, the wind would take her from me.
tear her from my arms..
if time was mine, it would twirl into her eyes.
lose me somewhere in their shine..

the birds return to dance on my street.
in the mud prints of my feet..
March fills the river again.
we march to it as if to greet an old friend.
we march into the cold rain..

spring breaks in a torrent of sadness.
if my thoughts were clear, i'd know what was missing.
emotions neither here nor there..
if the air was clear, i'd see what was ahead.
beyond grey mist and angry droplets..

long dreams.

these long dreams take the breath from me.
i wake to see the sun setting,
and the small things i am forgetting.
carry on, carry on, things will get better.
you say. you say.
but i no longer play with that kind of fire.
i can't stand the wars.
the world just ended overnight,
and now i search for stars.
turn them on, leave them on, they're all that matters.

dn'tfrgtme

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;