wet.

the streets are wet and the lights bright.
i have left you once again,
the air smells of ozone, beads of despair
cover my mirrors as i glance around wearily.
i close my eyes periodically, feel them swell up.
so tired from this.
chris is saying that he wants to die a death of cold,
because he's scared of growing old.
he sings and i sing with him.
the red lights taunt me,
your face is in the watery reflections all around.
your face is a magnet.
and i am weak to your pull.

may.

well, you killed me with your kiss,
and now i can find a way out of this.
i feel like now that i've met you,
i can die happy.
if you promise never to leave me,
then i will never leave you again.

-------------------

i met a girl on a good tuesday
in late april, approaching may.
i got so drunk i don't know what i said.
i had to hold my face together.

cuz she could change my life just like the weather.

lean in, don't make me shout.
i know i don't make much sense,
but i mean well.
and i burnt my fingers when i put that candle out.
and i owe her fifteen dollars and a subway token now.

but she might never know the way i would treat her.
alison.

i apologize for my behaviour.
i've been searching these spring skies,
looking for a savior.
and i may have found one now but i can't stay.
i've gotta hope for another good tuesday.

while i hold my face together,
cuz she could change my life just like the weather.

------------------------------

when i first saw you, i thought
i'd seen you before in my head
in my head

your laugh penetrates my shell,
every minute i spend away from you
just feels like hell

when you smile at me,
i feel alive again, it's not possible
but i'm alive again

when i first touched you, i knew
i'd touched you before in my head
in my head

(while you live in my head, i want to live in your bed)

----------------------

words are so easy, but this gets so hard.
i've got stones in my shoes,
i'm soft but i'm scarred.
and your eyes are the blue of a slow rainy day.
yeah, your eyes are the sea that's gonna take me away
from here. i can't think clear
without you,
and i know i can get silly, but everything i say is true.
so i make it simple.
five four three two, one
is the number of girls i want to kiss.
and one is the number of girls i will miss,
when i'm living in nowhere and nothingness.
so don't forget me.

writing is easy, but talking gets hard.
like a pale summer blue,
i'm soft but i'm marked by you.
i hope i've marked you too.

obasan.

"Unless the stone bursts with telling, unless the seed flowers with speech, there is in my life no living word. The sound I hear is only sound. White sound. Words, when they fall, are pock marks on the earth. They are hailstones seeking an underground stream. If I could follow the stream down and down to the hidden voice, would I come at last to the freeing word? I ask the night sky but the silence is steadfast. There is no reply."

- Joy Kogawa

100th post

A is for the apple in a bowl of oranges

L is for lucky charms marshmallow thief

I is for the most important person in the world ever

S is for short...

O is for an octopus whose sixth and seventh legs are obsolete

N is for... nobody beats alison

new skies.

well if these new skies come down like the last
i will shield my eyes like the past
and look at the ground again

instead of my mouth, i'm gonna use my pen
drop a couple thoughts that won't come again
not soon and not forever

sputnik.

"An intense love, a veritable tornado sweeping across the plains-- flattening everything in its path, tossing things up in the air, ripping them to shreds, crushing them to bits. The tornado's intensity doesn't abate for a second as it blasts across the ocean, laying waste to Angkor Wat, incinerating an Indian jungle, tigers and all, transforming itself into a Persian desert sandstorm, burying an exotic fortress city under a sea of sand. In short, a love of truly monumental proportions."

from Murakami's Sputnik Sweetheart

leaving.

when time runs thin, we will come back here again.
the questions that we leave behind, they remain unanswered.
we'll pick them up again.

my cave holds warmth, my cave holds hope,
my bed stays firm, it is strong, so it can hold me,
through all of this.

if we don't feel the same, i won't be surprised.
remember me in various spots, with various words in my mouth.
when we return, we will do it all again.