lmao

- it is in the mail.
- what is?
- your apology, you dick.
- wow...
- save your smug... save your pretending, you fraud. don't act so appalled.
- you're amazing... i love you.
- shut the fuck up.
- okay, but i don't want your apology. when it arrives i will tear it up.
- good, because it wasn't sincere, anyways.

...........

- what time is it?
- late.
- how late? what is late for you?
- you know... whatever.
- i can barely hear you.
- i don't know what i'm saying anymore.
- good, because you're not making any sense.
- okay.
- can you see your clock?
- my eyes are closed...
- open them.
- i unplugged the clock.
- such a lie.
- time is a fascist dictator. i don't need it.
- alright.
- i'm just kidding. i didn't unplug it, i don't think. but whatever else i said is true... but i don't know what that is.
- well, thanks for trying.
- it's late. i know that.
- now my eyes are closed, too. fuck, i'm done.
- yeah.

..................

- there's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight. so... look up.
- i'm inside.
- well, later... go outside and look up.
- maybe i'll sit on the roof.
- basement's don't have roofs.
- i guess not.

..............

- how does one reference the strangeness of their own mind to another? words? sure, words. is that plagiarism? maybe i need to invent a new language. with good intentions of course. more like unintentions. unlearnings. maps and diagrams inside my head that don't know their highs and lows or direction. direction hurts my brain. they don't know what they are showing. i depict nothing. i think i peeked in life as a little kid. when i was still happy. ambitious. now i am a ghost strolling around, waiting for something to happen. but i'm supposed to make it happen, aren't i?
- are you okay?
- i'm drunk.

.......................

- did you check out the sky the other night?
- i didn't see shit...
- me neither.
- i can't see anything anymore.
- ha, nothing to see anyways... so don't worry.
- i feel like there is, though. and every day i am missing things. wasting time.
- you're not wasting time.
- i am building nothing.
- life isn't a fucking lego set...
- but i was really good with lego.
- you're so down on life. and you have no reason to be. what's your problem?
- i know. i've got no reason to be so down... but also nothing to be ecstatic about. so that leaves me in this numb middle space. i'm bored.
- loneliness.