heroes of october EP

oh i bet the air was scared with all the words we used to sing

i bet it hid behind its friends until the grass turned green in the spring

you walk in puddles, walk on leaves, whether they're red or gold

you run through years just like the fears i used to fight and hold

and now you are a hero

i can't ignore the look in your eyes as the sun goes down

the path it falls and turns just enough to keep us both around

and i am fading, i am wading right in up to my chest

you're on my phone, you're in my bones, and memories do the rest

and now you are a hero

oh i'm going to be there on your wedding day

and oh, i'm going to have so many things to say

about a couple kids who laughed and laughed their hurt away

until the month of may

and let the summers shoot them down, knowing it was okay

and it's all okay

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fairview in september, i know you well. i've still got friends in this town.

they're bumping into me, accidentally,

remembering that i'm around.

the years stay on my mind, they're getting kinder to us.

we're getting older, being sold a new line, a new rush.

let's get in and get out before it folds.

it's no secret that it's crumbling and september knows.

fairview in september, i see your birds packing up to leave,

and your lawns aren't green.

and you're cold and mean.

why would you do this to me?

soul beasts of guelph, you know me well.

and i love you well.

and i would never run from you, but i've got no time for you right now.

just let me out.

-----------------------------

the name is tom, don't you forget it

i know the game is wrong, so let's forget it

i've been thinking about death today

it's been a long one, i must say

always searching for a better place

it's getting boring, i must say

so your friends are gone, they've all moved away

just buy a phone, there's still lots to say

i've been thinking about death today

it's been a tough one, i must say

i've been thinking about yesterdays

we had some fun, i must say

i've been thinking about better days

are we ever going to get there?

tired of looking for a better place

am i ever going to get there?

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i need you here.

i'm so afraid

of losing you.

come back and stay with me.

these are growing pains.

this is all insane.

i am young inside,

but my face is growing lines.

i'm so tired

of looking at your photo on the wall.

----------------------------

i know that i've told you before

to not come hanging around my door

but still i've seen you here before

don't you ever touch my door

because i don't want to be your whore

and i know you hate that i don't like you anymore

your dirt will never touch my floor

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i could be the waves in your blanket

i would help you shave your legs, for aerodynamics

if you would only lie to me,

like you lie to yourself

we would be so stealthy, you and me

when i say you're beautiful in the morning

does it make any difference to you at all?

you can put your head down in my lap,

i don't mind

because when you cry, you seem so small

i could be a giant sleeping under the leaves

and i would help you wash the dishes, i'd roll up your sleeves

when i sleep in late on sundays, the dreams stay with me

lingering in my brain like the smell of the trees

i'm doing, i'm doing the best i can

to be, to be a better man

but you don't help at all

you're a mystery waiting at the end of the hall

to jump out, and i love it how i fall

for you

-------------------------

zip up the tent and try to get warm.

it's a violent night, but we've been warned.

our house is a box being blown away,

our house is a boy marching into the fray.

we lay tight, shivering, face to face,

i'm thinking of nice things to say.

like, "i will never leave you."

and, "i could never hurt you."

my love will never go away.

so that underneath the wind you hear me say

that i'm completely in love with your face.

your eyes, your neck, your back, your hands.

i can never look away.

when the sky comes down,

and the trees dance around, ripped from the ground.

i stay right by you, and you've got me bound.

the wind destroys this plastic home around us,

but i can't hear a sound.

--------------------

all of a sudden it is october

and all of a sudden october is done

i cannot say that it’s been fun

because it hasn’t been

fairview is dying (i love you i love you)

all of a sudden it is cold outside

i’m looking for scarves and mits

october, you are so dark

fairview will come back again (i love you i love you)

-------------

colds and winds and older falls

breathing into all my thoughts

can't think straight or walk a line

can't get back our wasted time

and you walk so far away from me

i stretch out my arm but i can't reach you

you're running so fast away from me

i call out your name but it doesn't reach you

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if you stand by my side, i will stand by your side

i won't speak of what is owed

i will keep our rhymes tight

don't you believe me anymore, don't you listen anymore

and if we could all be like our parents, planting family trees

i might be a falling leaf, but your branches could catch me

you know, if i was the sea, you'd all come swimming in me

it's just been so damn long since we talked like friends

so let's walk to zanarkand

and say what we mean

if you promise to scream i will let one go too

we'll scare the neighbours, set out running off into blues

on the concrete, on the lawns, i'm on my knees, i'm on my palms

asking you to stay here

and while you're living your life

i'll be living it too, miles and miles away

scanning all my photos of you

you know if i was the air, i would be everywhere

and you'd all be kissing me too

wasted time.

colds and winds and older falls
breathing into all my thoughts
can't think straight or walk a line
i can't get back our wasted time

you walk so far away from me
i stretch out my arm but i can't reach you
you're running so fast away from me
i call out your name but it doesn't reach you

regeneration.

"Those history books you get in school say that railroad sharpshooters killed off all the buffalo, but that's not true."My father leans up against the door and closes his eyes. "Most of them just took off and never came back."
... When I try to shift from first to second, the sound is so sudden and frightening, I forget about the clutch and the gas, and the truck dies and drifts off onto the shoulder of the road. I take a deep breath and look around. The buffalo are gone.
"Just like that." My father looks out the window at the empty prairies. "Soon as the smart ones got a good look at Whites, they took off."
"So, where'd they go?"
"That's the mistake we made." My father settles into his seat, pulls his cap down, and closes his eyes. "We should have gone with them."
I try again, and this time I get from first gear into second. I see my father smile, so I go for third.


From Tom King's "Truth and Bright Water"



"... And suddenly I saw not only that we weren't the measure of all things, but that there was no measure."
"And yet you say nothing changed?"
"Nothing changed in England. And I don't know why. I think partly just the sheer force of other people's expectations. You know you're walking around with a mask on, and you desperately want to take it off and you can't because everybody else thinks it's your face."
"And now?"
"I don't know. I think perhaps the patients've... have done for me what I couldn't do for myself." He smiled. "You see healing does go on, even if not in the expected direction."


From Pat Barker's "Regeneration"

0560532

higher learning, postpone me. you you you.
I have waited, will continue to... put plans on
hold. I hold for seasons. reasons.
I have guessed and guessed wrong,
and now I fail to be anything of the moment.
at the moment. in the moment, stuck. muddy.
a child from the past and a future possibility.

I wake many leagues under, and running
low on breath... air. learning to try.
no sustainable fight in me. no goals.
face it. face me.
sharp pain in my chest is not physical,
but rather I am stabbed by repetition. squeezed.
magical boredom. devours. showers.

learning, and what have I lost? you you you.
me. there is no me this afternoon.